I can't ever become a US Citizen, but can I become a cultural American from a distance in Rotterdam instead, or still viewed as a foreigner?

It was always my goal to leave my own people, Dutch, formally and legally join and make the US my home and American people my own and become one of them instead.

However, as that is not possible, can America come to me in Europe instead?

I can join the LDS Church in the Benelux, watch CNN, Fox & NBC News, get all the US fashion brands, food & drink products & films here, join the Dems or Republicans aboard, sign up to a US think tank or policy institute as a member, buy Time and Newsweek, get all the email alerts, drive a Ford car & eat out at TGI Friday's.

Is it possible to go native and be an American without holding their passport, citizenship & living and working in the USA, or would I still be considered a foreign outsider and hence 'not one of them'?

I'm already married to a Mauritian so can't marry one of them either.

So, … A Tele-Merican"?

Your idea is within your reach. There must be Americans in Holland. Many American immigrants still consider themselves citizens of the "old country," for example, which would be the opposite, but an example how mentally someone can consider himself or herself a citizen of a different country from the one they physically occupy.

Sure, in America we have fake Democrat Hispanic Americans, fake Democrat Black Americans, fake Indian Democrat Americans so if you are a Dutch 'Democrat'… There's no bar to you becoming a fake foreign Democrat American.

That may make you an honorary expatriate

I would avoid those LDS folks.

Well, American society is a lot more welcoming to foreigners than european societies. For example, if you come to America from sweden and say you're an American, then no one will bat an eye
However, it doesn't work the other way around. If you're an American and go to sweden and say you're swedish, then people will look at you weird.

Not the way you wan to do it.

Your idea of "America" is nothing like the reality.

Most Americans don't belong to the LDS church. Most Americans either don't join any church or associate with a branch of Christianity with European origins, such as Roman Catholic, Anglican (called Episcopal in the US), Lutheran, etc. There are also Jews, Muslims, etc.

In the US, it's common to watch either CNN or Fox News, but not both.

In the US, Ford cars are not very common. Americans are more likely to buy either larger Fords, such as SUVs and pickup trucks, rather than cars, or to buy cars from companies that started in Asia, such as Honda and Toyota. (Some even have cars from European companies, such as BMW, but these are more expensive and less common.)

You also can't get exactly the same food, even if it is the same brand. Because the US government subsidizes the farms that produce maize, which is called corn in the US, many foods are sweetened with corn syrup in the US, even though the versions you can buy in the EU are sweetened with real sugar.

Finally, the biggest obstacle is that a major part of American culture, commonly used to locate American criminals who flee to the EU, is lack of knowledge of the metric system. If you know how much a kilogram, meter, liter, etc., are, then you're not really a cultural American.

Something tells me a lot of americans are too dumb to spot the sarcasm here